Let's hear it for the turnip lantern!!

Coming out of Tesco this afternoon, every second person had a pumpkin sitting on top of their shopping. Where did these come from?? Well, obviously it is the American influence, but when did we change over from carving out a turnip to using the softie option of a pumpkin?? Yet another example of the mothers of today doing thing the easy way!

When my children were young - although they are flatly denying all recollection of this - they were sent out to do their guising with a hollowed out turnip lantern with a candle stuck in it. I had to start scooping out the inside around June as these turnips are so o o o hard and implements used varied from lethal sharp knives to screwdrivers . None of this namby pamby scooping of the pumpkin with an ordinary spoon for goodness sake. Even as I write this (to thin air I suspect but never mind!) I can smell the intense aroma from the turnip as it was bludgeoned into something vaguely resembling a hollowed out face. Then it had to have holes carved in for the eyes and teeth and its top replaced, then two holes drilled in the side for a piece of string to be threaded through. My God, I am exhausted just writing about it - thank goodness it was only once a year!

A Stare of Owls

Found a wonderful children's book yesterday by Brian Wildsmith called "Birds". As well as wonderful illustrations it lists the group names for various types of birds. Some of them are great and typify the characteristics of the birds described. For example, what better name could there be for a gathering of owls but a "stare".
Some of the others are ;
A party of jays,
a walk of snipe,
a company of parrots and my favourite - an unkindness of ravens. Great eh?

"I was with God and the devil but God took me"

Words like "amazing" and "remarkable" have been diminished as they are now used to describe everything from Cheryl Cole's amazing figure or some non entity on X Factor's remarkable voice.

However, there are not enough superlatives to describe the successful rescue of the Chilean miners who had been trapped underground for approximately 2 months. Technology meant that we could watch the capsule descend into the cavern where the men were trapped and then watch as each one was strapped in and then the tube started to rise into that shaft again. It reminded me of watching the moon landing as I thought "am I actually believing what I am watching?"

The sheer joy on everyones face as each miner was hoisted through a space around 24 inches wide was one of the most moving things to be shown on television for a very long time. Each man emerged with a dignity and a stoicism which represents miners everywhere - they are a hardy breed.

Last words must go to Mario Espina, the second miner who was brought to the surface,

"I was with God and the devil but God took me."

Escape to the Country

I am a great fan of "Escape to the Country", the programme which tries to find a country dwelling for "townies" who want to have a life change. Lately , however, I have to say that the words "which planet are you living on" and "how much!!!!" are never far from my lips as I watch the endless list of must haves to be included in a country property.

1) A Boot Room - I know, I know, use the bloomin' hall like everybody else

2) A Hobby Room - for some reason people seem to think that they need a separate room to read or do a crossword or a wee bit of painting. For goodness sake people, have you never heard of the dining room table? My family have to eat their meals on trays on their laps for the week it usually takes me to do a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle and I don't hear them complaining.

3) A Snug - for goodness sake you are not a character in a Dickens novel!

4) A Paddock - this is my all time favourite and results in shouts of derision when it comes up. Remember we are talking about , usually a couple who are going to be commuting approximately 2 hours a day to work and who have never lived outside the confines of suburbia and suddenly they cannot live without a paddock. Unless you happen to breed Clydesdales or plan holding gymkhanas every other week, why in God's name would you need a paddock?

5)Land - you would think that moving to the country you would have plenty of open space around you , after all is that not what the countryside is? But, oh no, these morons want their own land and we are not talking about a nice sized garden with a few flower beds and a wee veggie patch (another absolute must have!) We are talking acres, often 9 or 10 of them.

And finally, having had the programme scour the area of a particular county, say Somerset, where these people had decided that they wanted to live , they then drop the bombshell "Yes, we still want to move to the country but we have decided to look in Aberdeenshire instead". Where do they find these people???

Tesco £1.99 - Nature free

I have been enjoying a crop of blackberries which I found round the back of the Charity Shop where I help out. They have been large, juicy berries , ripe and full of goodness (or antioxidants as they are now called - I prefer "goodness")
I have sometimes felt like some mad old forager when I have been picking away as the bushes are in the car park of the adjacent hotel although one woman did come up and ask what I was picking and if they were "safe to eat?"

She seemed quite interested in doing the same but her husband said to her "You can get them in Tesco" .

Nice to see that the age of irony is still with us.

The Pope and North Gyle residents...

So the Pope has landed then and on Princes Street there seems to be a decent if not exactly "unable to move" crowd.
Slightly different this morning as he passed along the bottom of my road on his way from the airport. We residents of North Gyle Road are not known for our outward expression of cheering - if there was a street party I think most people would be saying "oh I am off to Dobbies that day".

However, I did wander down , mainly because I was on my way to Tesco and I knew I would be able to get across the Glasgow Road - no mean feat I can tell you. There were a small gaggle of us and a twelve year old policeman who was having to explain to the old lady who lives on the other side of the Glasgow Road that she couldn't get across the road as "the Pope was coming". Despite her protestations that she could be across the road before he came and when exactly would he be passing, he stood firm. I tell you reader, so insistent was she on the exact passing time of the Holy Father that I was beginning to look at her a bit suspiciously!!

Anyway, there was a small (very small) ripple of anticipation as a phalanx (yep, English Literature degree!) of policemen swept along the road and then a procession of 2 silver cars with blacked out windows and lots of black cars drove past. Some of us waved half heartedly but the cars could have been empty for all you could see. He was probably having a doze inside or catching up with the weather in Rome on his i pad (pod???).

Watching the procession along Princes Street I feel cheated that the residents of North Gyle were not treated to the sight of the Mafia style bodyguards running alongside the cars in the style of Clint Eastwood in "The Line of Fire". Now that I think would have raised a cheer!

Strictly Speaking...

...we are still in British Summertime, an oxymoron if ever there was one, but there are signs that we will soon be sitting with the curtains drawn . Trees are putting on their winter coats, as are the rest of us and some of the shops are already stocking their Christmas cards - shame on you!!

But the surest sign of all that we are hurtling toward Christmas is the imminent return this weekend of Strictly Come Dancing, or Strictly as it has now become known (when did that happen? Are we too lazy to make sentences of three words anymore?) Every year I think I won't bother giving over every Saturday evening for the next 3 months to watch "celebrities" (and this year they are using the term very loosely!) but then I get hooked.

I do hope this year that they have had a word with grumpy Len, hyper- active Bruno and the grammar free zone that is known as Alesha Dixon but somehow I doubt it. It will be the same old, same old but that won't stop us eh Louise?? Get those fingers flexed.

Gandalf has come back to (middle) earth!

Hurray - great news for the beginning of the week - Gandalf the vulture that escaped from his handler during a public display , has been re captured.

This must be good news for a number of reasons, not least for the sheep and small animal population of Central Scotland which must have been running for cover the past week every time a cloud passed overhead.
Also airplane travellers have now one less thing to worry about as it was feared that Gandalf could soar to heights of 36,000ft and has a wingspan of over 10 ft. Now , I don't care how nonchalant a flier you are , that would have to give you a start if it looked in the side airplane window wouldn't it???

But most of all, I am pleased for David Ritchie, Director of "World of Wings" (great job title David!), who obviously has a special rapport with Gandalf. Mr Ritchie was interviewed earlier in the week on the radio and was clearly upset that he might never see Gandalf again as it could obviously cover huge distances with its enormous wingspan. However, can you believe it Gandalf was found ,

"sitting on a telegraph pole at the old brickworks at Easter Jawcraig two miles north of Slammanan , near Falkirk. I ran into the field and threw her a dead chick to eat and she came to eat it. We wrapped her in a big duvet and got her back to the van."

Who knew that Gandalf was a girl?? Now it all makes sense - what bird would not respond to a man serving her a (raw!!) meal and an offer of a snuggle up in a duvet. The bird knows when she is well off!!

Redhall Walled Garden - a haven of peace

"I go to nature to be healed and soothed and to have my senses put in order" - John Burroughs

Spent the afternoon with a friend at Redhall Walled Garden in the Colinton area of Edinburgh, a completely hidden garden

accessed off one of the main roads into the city. It is an area of some 6 acres running alongside the water of Leith and what strikes you most is the sense of peace and quiet .

It is a special place where the Scottish Association for Mental Health run courses in horticulture for people who have suffered or are suffering from mental health problems. We met many people working away in the garden today and the range of flowers and vegetables, especially the tomatoes ( sorry, we pinched one!) were very impressive.

People who come to work in the garden have often been in hospital or on large doses of medication which has not always been successful and I find it really interesting that the soothing atmosphere of working in a garden is now being considered a credible alternative treatment with visible results.

Cool cushion

How cool is this cushion??? Made by a very talented designer, creating original , soft furnishings from recycled materials.

I think her work is fabulous and I hope that all my American readers - surely there must be some of you out there?? - will order one to take back to the good old USA.

I can provide contact details on request.

Get a grip ...

Yes we are off on a sporting theme again, namely the European Athletics Championships - what do you mean "are they on?" You obviously don't live with men in the same house. On any given Saturday we can move from,

Grand Prix (here's an idea organisers, just go round twice and see who wins instead of 47 times!!!) and do those cars have to be so LOUD.

Ladies golf - who knew that Korean women were really good at golf - must be a nation of golfing widowers.

Athletics and this is where I must make my point - why is it so blooming difficult to pass a baton from one person to the other while running at the same time? We are absolutely hopeless at it , both the men and the women managed to make a complete hash of it. I would have thought if you were picked to take part in the relay race that the two things you must be able to do are run (obviously!) and pass a wee stick to the next person round the track.

Unfortunately , our athletes are not the most articulate and so when asked why they can't do this simplest of tasks they come up with all kinds of excuses and keep saying that they are really "disappointed".

No, the word you are looking for is clumsy - get a grip!! Can I suggest that you adopt the training methods employed by Primary 7 Commercial Primary School relay team in 1962(yours truly was the final leg - huge responsibility!) Our coach was the indomitable Miss Halpern whose parting advice was ,

"Run as fast as you can and don't drop the baton" - enough said! (Yes reader, we won, of course!)

Culross

Can I recommend , dear reader (that's you Louise!) a trip across the Forth to Culross, a pretty wee village on the shores of the Forth. Cobbled streets lead up to an old Abbey and gabled houses crowd into twisting wee streets.

Many of the buildings are owned by the National Trust for Scotland and so are painted in sandy and ochre colours which give the place a faintly foreign feel.

Well worth a visit and I can recommend the Gallery/ Coffee Shop for a nice wee scone and cup of tea.

Words Fail Me ( ...well almost!)

You know how sometimes you read something in the paper which stops you in your tracks and has you thinking "No, that can't possibly be right? Someone, somewhere is having a laugh, surely??"

Well, I had one of those moments yesterday when I read that Joe Cole ,footballer, had been signed by Liverpool for a wage of ........£90,000 A WEEK !!!!!!!!!

Reader (are there any of you out there?) I make no apology for the capitals or the liberal use of exclamation marks.If there was a symbol for rapid shaking of the head while throwing hands up in the air, I would have used that too.

Just to put that into some kind of perspective I have some other "wages" for comparison - all this information has been supplied by Google, if it's wrong, write to them!

David Cameron, Prime Minister of the UK - £143,000 PER YEAR

Barbara Stocking, Chief Executive Officer of Oxfam - £90,000 PER YEAR

Newly qualified nurse in the NHS - £20,000 PER YEAR

So in a fortnight, Joe Cole is going to earn more than the Prime Minister of a European country earns in a year??? I think you can see where I am going with this dear reader, and I apologise now but I am going to do some internet shouting;

HE KICKS A BALL FOR GOODNESS SAKE !!!

Raindrops keep falling on my head. ...

Not that I am complaining, although everything in my garden is now completely flattened.Flowers which should be standing a foot tall and stretching their heads gracefully to catch the warmth of the sun are lying horizontal along the ground in a kind of stunned "what is going on here?" kind of way!

Golfers in St Andrews have abandoned their pastel coloured Pringles and sunshades and wrapped themselves in their cagoules and woolly hats. The wind is blowing the flags almost out of their holes and is threatening to blow any wayward golf balls into the North Sea. But hey - you are professionals, this will test how good you are!

As on so many occasions in life the last words must be given to Dolly Parton,

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain"

Spot on again, Dolly!

Viva Espana!

Well done Spain for winning the World Cup- and thank you for making me a fiver!

Boo to Holland for trying to permanently maim every one of the Spanish team by hacking into their legs (and stomachs!) every time they got the ball.

And well done , of course, to Psychic Paul the octopus who got all his predictions right - would have liked to have seen him brought to the podium and presented with a medal.

Harper Lee - Tweeters take note.

The following extract is from The Times newspaper;

"Could Harper Lee, the author of To Kill A Mockingbird, be any cooler? First she writes one of the finest and most popular novels in the history of English literature and has the tenacity to resist demands for a follow up. Then she resists pressure to appear in public, despite endless pressure for her to do so.
And then when, the other week a tabloid reported harasses her for an interview in her home town of Monroeville, Alabama, she responds with the following words; "Thank you so much, you are most kind. We are just going to feed the ducks, but call me the next time you are here"

Do you notice something about these words Lee's first publicity quoted comment in years? They contain almost precisely the number of characters that would count as a tweet on Twitter. And in doing so she draws a contrast between her dignity and the thousands of less talented, less classy contemporary writers degrading themselves on an hourly basis on social networking sites"

Couldn't have put it better myself!!

This week's best donation at the Charity Shop

"Do you take cages?"

"Cages?"

"Bird cages?"

"Oh ,yes we do. I am sorry has your budgie died?" (nobody can accuse me of not being empathetic with a pet owner's pain)

"Oh no, I bought it for my Mum didn't I because I thought it would keep her company as she lives on her own but from the day she got him she says he has never shut up and it is driving her mad"

"Isn't that what they are supposed to do - talk?"

"She said it wasn't saying any proper words, just chirping away as if it was cross all the time ( kept quiet at this point. I have absolutely no experience of cross budgies and didn't feel I had much to contribute) and she didn't want it anymore. So I have brought its cage and lots of other bits and pieces that we got for its cage"

Now, reader, I think I can safely say that this budgie has made a big mistake in getting on the wrong side of this family. There was so much stuff in that cage in the way of bells, ladders, swings etc. it was like Centre Parcs for budgies. There was even a plastic budgie which I admit did give me a start when I first saw it as I thought it was the budgie itself! I think this might be what upset the real budgie - a rather attractive looking budgie already in position on the perch who never even acknowledged his presence. I think I might get cross myself.


I tentatively asked after the whereabouts of the budgie but it is now apparently back with the breeder. That will teach him.

Oh for goodness sake . .

Saw this advertising hoarding outside a tea shop in Stockbridge - home of the chattering classes of Edinburgh.

Where to start?? Okay - why is the word "tea" in inverted commas? Is tea not a normal word that it needs to be accorded quotation marks.?

Reader, I know that you will be way ahead of me in shouting "Why is there an apostrophe in Tea's Coffee's " ? It wouldn't be so wrong if the idiot sign writer at least got it consistently wrong and stuck an apostrophe in the scones and muffins!

And what exactly does "etc" cover in a coffee shop?

What is so worrying is the care they have taken over the squiggly bits in the corner - idiots!

Football's Coming home . . . .

.....and so is the England team! Too many egos- not enough talent. (Yes who knew that yours truly had turned into a football pundit??)

Thank goodness that Germany scored zillions of goals or else we would never have heard the last of England's second disallowed goal which (allegedly) went over the line.

Never mind, now Christine Bleakley can tell Frank all about her exciting new job !

Wildlife in the city

Saw this guy sitting on the banks of the Water of Leith down at Canonmills. Who says you have to be in the country to see great wildlife??

"You cannot be serious..."

Wimbledon must be awarded the prize for the most uncomfortable dress code for linesmen and umpires. I ask you button up shirt and ties and long sleeve blouses in this heat - are they mad? The court officials at the French and US Open look like they belong on a tennis court with their shorts and short sleeved tops. That is what you would expect to see on a tennis court right? Not at Wimbledon , they are clinging to the "extras from a P.G.Wodehouse novel" look and boy do they look uncomfortable.

Fair play to the design company though for pulling a fast one - nothing appeals more to the Wimbledon Committee obviously than living in the past.

"So then I said...."

Met this fella on the path along to Dunstanburgh Castle just outside Craster last week. Not at all bothered by us being there and even posed for pictures!

Had a great couple of days in Northumberland. Weather very sunny - I got the sunburn to prove it!

Off to Northumberland - hooray!!

The sun is shining and I will not be blogging for a few days as we are off to Northumberland and our lovely bed and breakfast. If someone would arrange for Northumberland to become part of Scotland, then it would almost be my favourite place ( my first allegiance must always be to the East Neuk of Fife, you would expect no less from a Dunfermline girl!)

I love the huge skies and the endless beaches and of course Barter Books in Alnwick, the only bookshop I know where there are bowls of water for dogs who like to browse!

A vuvuzela too far

A trumpet that only blows one note and is wielded by several thousand people at once. The South Africans are not stupid are they, I could see the wretched "vuvuzela" being their secret weapon in this World Cup.



I would strongly suggest that all players are supplied with 2 Anadin Extra Strength before they go out to play - I don't think that they are on the list of banned substances but maybe someone who gives a toss might like to check!

Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

"Coffee - garden - coffee. Does a morning need anything else ?"

Betsy Garmon

Feed the Birds , tuppence a bag (in your dreams Mary Poppins, more like £1.35!!!)

Don't get me wrong, I love these feathered little critters and I think it is one of the great miracles of Ma Nature that they were basically inside an egg the size of a Cadbury's Mini egg just a few weeks ago. But boy, can they pack away the birdseed!

Poor husband has two full time jobs at the moment. The one that keeps me in the manner to which I am accustomed , and his other one keeping the bird feeders full. We have a family of sparrows in the garden and now that they have "fledged", - can I just say I am sure that is not a proper word but one made up by the BBC Springwatch team, however I digress - it is like having a gang of marauding teenagers in the garden. Mum and Dad are obviously thinking that their job is done and it is down to the two softies in whose garden they have taken up residence to keep the little uns fed.

Mark you, at the risk of turning them into Disney characters, they are cute. Yesterday, they learned that they could somehow cling on sideways to the leylandi hedge and that game kept them amused for ages. One of the cockier ones was leading the way, landing and then flying off in a "that's how to do it way" - note to him by the way nobody likes a smart ass sparrow! One of the little girl sparrows (that cannot be a proper bird term can it?) was a bit more cautious, nothing wrong with that, but she soon got the hang of it although she tired of it quicker than her brother - better things to do with her time I suppose!

Anyway, can I leave you with this thought dear reader from the great lady herself aka Mary Popppins and can I advise that you take a minute now to go and get a box of tissues first .......

"Come feed the little birds, show them you care

And you'll be glad if you do,

Their young ones are hungry, their nests are so bare

All it takes is tuppence from you........"

It's a Jungle Out there . . .

For those of you who don't know this fantastic character , may I introduce you to Mr Monk, one of the greatest detective characters ever devised for television.

Like Columbo, he is from the "village idiot" end of the personality spectrum as far as the rest of the world is concerned but do not be fooled! He is a brilliant detective who "lost his soul" the night his beloved wife Trudi was murdered and which left him with more anxieties than are known to the whole of the medical profession. However, with the help of his devoted assistant Natalie and his boss Captain Shuttlemeyer ( two of the kindest people in tellyland!) he lives his life best he can solving seemingly unsolvable crimes along the way with his combination of brilliant mind - and Zen like hand movements. (can't explain, you would have to see it!)

Actor Tony Shaloub has won many accolades for the portrayal as "Mr Monk" including a Golden Globe award, Emmy awards and two Screen Actors Guild Awards - he is absolutely brilliant.

New Spectacles

Have at last chosen my new specs - honestly,how stressful is that?? I reckon that must be right up there along with moving house and divorce.

Decided early on that the black framed "geek" look was doing me no favours and , despite my contempt for all things "designer" have ended up with a pair of Givenchy (who knew that Givenchy made specs - they make perfume don't they????) oblong, semi rimless and "with an air of French elegance" - their words not mine!

Having almost worked myself into a state of gibbering indecision I was then called upon to pick my "free" second pair so I opted for sunglasses. I laughingly said to the 12 year old assistant,

"Oh I will stay away from those huge round ones , don't want to end up looking like Cheryl Cole"

and was met with a sardonic look (at least as sardonic as a Boots Optical assistant can be!) which clearly conveyed that there was about as much chance of me being taken for Cheryl Cole as England have of winning the World Cup.. See how I cleverly brought in the football connection there - reader, this blog is not just thrown together you know.

Anyway, will see if anyone notices my new "air of French elegance" - won't hold my breath!

Tongue tied

Okay - so I have been dragged kicking and screaming, sorry that should be encouraged, into the world of the blogsphere and now find myself having to impart pithy comments.
Firstly, big thanks to my ever so talented IT instructor this afternoon who helped me to set up this blog. Endlessly patient even when having to repeat

"No, double click" and "its really easy once you get the hang of it",in an encouraging tone!


By the time I was finished I felt ready for a wee sherry and a lie down in a darkened room, but now I have given myself a sharp slap around the legs and a good talking to and so here goes............



This is a bit like when I play Spotify on the computer ( oh yes, I can do "spotify"!!!) and I am faced with every tune ever composed to choose from and I end up going for Dolly and Kenny giving it their all in "Islands in the Stream". Well you have to choose something you can sing along with and I just love the bit when Dolly comes in and everyone claps. Yes - go and listen to it now I know you want to.